My Version

My Version

When I am old,
I shall paint with a spatula,
and a barbeque brush,
and I will use my curtains as canvases.

When I am old,
I shall wear Spandex
while I paint-
to keep my creativity
from overflowing.

When I am old,
I will keep my skin glowing
with mayonnaise and cucumber slime
For all I will have is time
to fancy myself
any way I see fit.

When I am old,
I will spit while I can
and drive over the speed limit.
I shall wear Spanx around
my sagging breasts
and Spandex on
my wrinkled ass
if only to perk me up.

When I am old,
I shall dress like I am twelve
and do the Hula in my yard
every Saturday morning
while I screech church hymnals
at the top of
my old lady lungs.

When I am old,
I shall paint with a spatula
and a barbeque brush.
I will use toilet seats as canvases
and put them up for sale in my yard…
if only to drive the neighbors nuts.