Thrifting

He clambered into her bed,

anticipating the just rewards

he'd hoped for.

While she tucked her

young'ens down for the night,

he spread the linens just right

so as to accentuate what minute

girth he wasn't really blessed with.

He tap-tapped away on the device

she had given him and swapped

advice with another lady he hoped

would be in town come Saturday.

It's only Tuesday he thought silently

while listening for her footsteps

to descend from upstairs.

She let the dogs out

and double checked the locks.

As she slid into the sheets,

he grabbed her hand

and slid
​
it
   d
      o
        w
           n

to his freshly shorn briar.

"Surprise!" He whispered,

"I was bored at the hotel last night."

Manscaping wasn't exactly his specialty,

but he had a special lady on the hook

that his current one was aloof to.

Two birds, one stone, he figured.

He always enjoyed a good bargain.

Something for nothing, they say.