Heavy

Most of the time,
I am strong.
A regular foundation
of granite and diamonds
that twinkle and shine
minute reflections
of the slimmest light.
But...there are moments
when my foundation
slips...from too much rain
mudding down the dirt,
too much pain,
in my heart of hurts.
I know I'm not the only one.
But sometimes,
memories are too heavy
to carry and I find
myself wavering in
fragments of where I used
to be; who I used to be.
Remembering my childhood,
the days when I felt whole.
Now, I'm grown and
the folks are gone.
The walls have been dismantled and paved
with aisles of tampons,
hair dye and cough drops.
The clubhouse in the garage
where my brothers drank
stolen beers and blared
Ted Nugent on the radio
has wasted away to parking spots.
My favorite getaway
behind the gas station
is now a red box of DVDs.
My Mother's lilacs now dead
in a landfill somewhere...
Knowing I'll never smell them
again tears me apart sometimes...
Memories can be so heavy.