It's not you, it's me

By Anonymous

I don’t know what to do with you.  
You invade my thoughts, my personal space, and at moments, my heart. 
I feverishly push you aside because I know how easily I can fall. 
I think I can keep you on deck; in the batters cage, waiting to have a turn. 
Yet, when I give you a turn I want you to stay there.  I want you to be more.  
I’m selfish with the time I get to spend with you, thinking of no one but myself and my own needs. 
You fill those voids with your words, your touch, and your tongue.  You quiet my endless chattering by pulling me close and all I can do is surrender.  It’s your touch, the way your hands feel, the taste of you on my lips … they all combine together and it becomes overwhelming. 
As we depart from one another I leave with a high.  Are you my drug of choice right now? When will I get my next fix?  How do I not become addicted to you?  
I take a moment to gather my thoughts and not so gently remind myself that I’m the boss of what we do.  I don’t need you, I want you.  I could have many just like you.  You just happened to come along at a time I was looking.  You won’t be staying for long and that’s by my choice.  Lust is a powerful drug but the shelf life is short and your expiration date is quickly approaching.