First Night

by: Lilly Garfield

It was obviously a bad day. He was sitting at his desk, whiskey in hand, Hendrix on the stereo. I entered the room just as he exhaled, a plume of smoke from his flared nostrils. 

He barely acknowledged me as I sat on the bed. The collar of his flannel was slightly wrinkled and I detected a slight sweat breaking on his neck. Without a word he stumbled to the bed and laid back, clothes lining me, pulling me down with him. His palm went across my face and he turned my head to look at him. 

He pried my eyelids apart so I had no choice but to look at him. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and there was something happening behind them. He got up clumsily and walked to the closet. Kneeling, he grabbed a pair of ratty boots, pulling the laces from each one. He grabbed a red bandanna from a drawer.

Again, he stalked over to the bed where I lay completely still. My eyes followed him as he bent over me and grabbed my ankles. The electricity in the room told me not to move or speak. He spread my legs and tied them to each bedpost. My heart thumped. 

He grabbed my wrists and followed suit. My brain screamed; it told me to struggle but I remained still. He carefully lifted my head and placed the bandanna over my eyes. What dim light there was shining in from the street went dark. I whimpered as he stuck a cloth in my mouth, securing it with tape. Darkness and silence took over my senses. I waited.

Cigarette smoke filled my nose as his tongue found its way from my shoulder to my ear. A rough hand grasped my breast. He moved lower and my jean button snapped. There was a pulling and a rush of cold air that cause my flesh to crawl. Then a ripping...

I felt his weight as he entered me fiercely. As he thrust, my mind wandered and a tear wet my cheek. It wasn't from fear or sadness...it was complex - a feeling of excitement and anxiety. It's so true that when one sense is limited the others pick up the slack.  An animal rummaged outside the window. Footsteps descended the stairs.

Just as quickly, it was finished. He moved off of me and laid on my side. Cigarette smoke again filled the room and I coughed. He removed the cloth from my mouth. Whiskey and cigarettes...We lay in silence.